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Yes, I went to the beach two months after having a baby. Yes, I wore swimsuits without cover-ups all the time. Not only did I wear swimsuits, but I even wore two, yes TWO, bikinis. Was my “beach body” ready? Heck no, but it was at the beach.
One piece swimsuit: Xhilaration—on sale for $26 s/ Straw beach tote: Merona (almost identical) Earrings: Sugarfix // Sandals: Tory Burch // Sunglasses: BP
Why is it that as women, we are told that our body’s should fit a perfect mold and we believe it? Let’s have some real talk here: beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. I’m not a size 0 and I will never be a size 0. My body just isn’t made that way. The only time I’ve ever seen a 0 on my tag is with a 1 in front of it.haha I was a lot happy with my body when I came to realize that.
And if societal “norms” aren’t enough to send your body confidence for a nose dive, add in a pregnancy or two! As women, our bodies are ever changing.
Pregnancy did a number on my body this time around. I gained more weight (around 35 lbs total), I have an approximately 6″ c-section scar, it ravaged my hair (no luscious pregnancy locks here), and I developed a linea nigra that still hasn’t disappeared. Somehow though, I made it through with 0 stretch marks, so there’s that!
Honestly, of all of those things, the one I’ve struggled with the most is the scar from my c-section. And you can’t even see it in a bikini! Y’all, I couldn’t even bring myself to look at my incision until after more than a week had passed. It was devastating to me! I wondered the whole time if I could ever bring myself to love my body again. I wanted to cry every time I thought about it. How on earth is it that something so small can have such a strong psychological hold on us???
When I finally worked up the nerve to look at it, I was surprised that it wasn’t as big/thick as I expected. My scar is longer but razor thin. It’s like a piece of embroidery thread is stretched across. I’m still not a fan, but it’s a part of me now.
My body isn’t what it used to be, and truthfully, I don’t think it ever goes back to being exactly the same after having a baby. I’m working on losing those last 10 lbs of baby weight. Then I’d like to lose 10 more on top of that.
But you know what? I’m not going to let that stop me from enjoying life. I want to live life fully, and I can’t do that if I worry about every little jiggle, ripple, or dent. My body IS beautiful. It is strong. It grew two beautiful children. To hell with myself, or anyone else, thinking they’re less because of what their body looks like.
So get out there! Go to the beach. Wear the swimsuit. Play with your children. Have a good time. You only get one body and one life–love and enjoy each to the fullest. I had the best time at the beach. And honestly, I’m more self-conscious in a one piece because of my hips, but this palm tree one piece was too cute to pass up!
At the end of the day, I love my body because I love myself.