Adjusting to Being a Family of Four

The photos for this post were gifted by Amanda Hacker Photography

Babies are SUCH a big responsibility. Seriously–it’s not like you’ve taken a Gigapet to raise (where are my 80s/90s babies at?). OK, so with all of today’s technological advances and phone connectivity, babies are kind of like a Gigapet except a baby is a living, breathing human. When Chauncey and I were thinking about trying for another baby last spring, one of our biggest worries was how we would adjust to being a family of four. Now that we’re almost four months in, I thought I’d share some insight on how we’ve adjusted to being a family of four.

Here’s what we’ve learned as we’ve adjusted to being a family of four:

The hardest part is already over.

While it’s definitely different to add a second child to the mix, the hardest part is already over. It was much more of a shock and adjustment to add the first child to our family than it was the second. With your first child, your life is completely upended. Everything changes. With your second child, though, it’s more minor changes and adjustments. You’re already used to keeping a tiny human alive. Chauncey and I have often asked each other if Karoline is truly an easier child, or if it’s just that we know what we’re doing this time around.

But realize that life IS going to change.

Life as you know it will never be the same. You will have twice the love, twice the joy, and twice the happiness that you did before. It’s a more minor change, but a change none-the-less. We had to go back through those sleepless nights and utter exhaustion.  We’ve had to allocate more of our budget to daycare expenses–if you thought daycare was expensive for one child, wait until you see the bill for two. And life has especially changed for Kane, as he’s had to adjust to not being an only child anymore.

Become even MORE flexible.

As a working mom with a side hustle, I thought that I was already as flexible as flexible could get. I was wrong. When you become a family of four, you become even more flexible by necessity. We’ve had to adjust our lives to work around Karoline’s feeding schedule. And trying to get two kids out of the house ON TIME in the mornings is a daily struggle.

Acknowledge that you can’t be everything to everybody at the same time.

It’s inevitable that with two kids, sometimes they’re both going to need care and attention at the same time (think hangry Karoline and Kane with a booboo). I’m lucky to have a husband who is very much hands-on and helps a ton. But it’s hard to have to solely dedicate attention to one child at a moment when both needs attention.  You may feel like a bad mom, but you have to realize that the important thing isn’t how you feel–it’s making sure that both kids are receiving attention. That means relying on your partner and others in your “village”. Switch off with your partner and take turns, so that your oldest doesn’t think you’re favoring the baby.

There’s definitely been some hiccups adjusting to being a family of four, like when Kane was upset that we liked the new baby.haha But you work through those issues as they arise. You just make it work. And truthfully, Chauncey and I couldn’t imagine life any other way now.

Lexington, Kentucky Baby + Lifestyle Photography

As a blogger, I’ve been blessed to work with some amazing photographers. These images were taken by Amanda Hacker of Amanda Hacker Photography, a lifestyle photographer here in Lexington, Kentucky. Amanda’s work first caught my eye because her photographs have that true light and airy feel to them. Aesthetics aside, they also feel so REAL. When I look back at these photos, they take me right back to that moment in time.

Amanda was so fun to work with because she was relaxed. Amanda just went with the flow and she was able to truly capture our family (probably because she’s a mom of two herself). While some of the photographs were posed, many were also just in the moment. When I look at these pictures, I see the love my family has for one another. We actually took these photos for Karoline’s “3 Month” photos. Babies change their looks so much over the first year of their lives. I highly suggest booking a package for multiple sessions for baby’s first year. In addition to newborn work, Amanda also does lifestyle and wedding photography as well. You can checkout her website here, or follow her on Facebook and Instagram for up-to-date offers.

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