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Well, y’all, this isn’t the post I intended to right today, but it’s on my heart, so here we are. While I love being a mother, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, some days, motherhood is hard. You may have a baby crying, a kid hanging off of your leg, things breaking (or being broke) around the house, and general stress. Some days, surviving motherhood is tough, no matter how blessed you are.
This is one of the reasons we did a lot of soul searching before decided to try for a second baby. Because stress from motherhood doesn’t just impact how we parent–it impacts every area of lives, including relationships, work, and well-being. It’s hard to compartmentalize your most important job.
And then this makes you question whether you’re a good mom. You do a lot of second-guessing and questioning. I know that I am constantly soul-searching over the tiniest moments with Kane and Karoline that are but a blimp on the radar for them, but that profoundly affect me. Did I say the right thing? Was I too harsh in my reaction? Have I shown them enough love? Am I doing a good enough job balancing all my various roles of mother, wife, attorney, blogger, friend, etc.?
To survive motherhood, you have to first acknowledge that motherhood is very rewarding, but it’s also difficult. It will not always be easy, so it’s important to adjust expectations so you’re not setting yourself up for failure.
Second, realize that you’re not perfect and will never be (you’re not Jesus). While sometimes it’s hard to give ourselves grace, realize that your children are much more forgiving of you than you are of yourself. My kids don’t wear the same critical glasses I wear when I look at myself. They may not always like me, especially when I have to correct their behavior or say no, but they love me.
Third, while being there for your children is of upmost importance, you are just as important. Your children can suck a lot out of you. So it’s very important to take time for self care for yourself. When you take time to do something for yourself, you are actually giving to your children. You will be a better mother when you take time to relax and do things you enjoy. I like to have dinner with friends, take bubble baths, and read trashy romance novels.
Finally, if motherhood is too overwhelming, please reach out to someone. It’s ok to ask for help, whether it’s from your partner, a friend, or a professional. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom! Moms are just like anyone else, and can struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues that can be exacerbated by motherhood.
I encourage mothers to build a community of other mothers, whether it’s in person or online. It’s so great to have a sounding board of other moms who have your back, and can really help to put things into perspective for you. After all, we’re all in this together!
ICYMI, here are this week’s posts:
TGIF!!! Della at Della Devoted, Becky at BYBMG, Whitney J at Polka Dotty Place, Whitney P at Come Home for Comfort, and myself want to welcome you to the High Five for Friday link-up and the weekend. We made it! High Five for Friday is where we come together to share our favorite posts we’ve written throughout the week. Drop up to 3 links below!